Regrettably, Red Bull is not the answer.
TL;DR - busy season is coming, drink some water for goodness sake.
Hi everyone. Happy Monday.
Taking a poll here. It’s too early for the pumpkin spice latte to be available at Starbucks, right guys?
I didn’t realize until I moved to New Jersey that people here live for the picture-perfect holiday season. It’s utterly charming. It’s a Hallmark special.
Now that the leaves are just barely starting to crisp up and the breeze is a little cooler at night, things have begun to stir from hibernation.
People emerge like movie extras in the fall and don’t disappear until late into the winter, after the holidays have long passed. They awaken from their languishing, humid summer and emerge, dressed for the season, to embrace back-to-school vibes unrivaled elsewhere in the US. Patios, dining rooms, and cafes stay at capacity all season long. Tips are high. Shifts are busy.
During these times, I lean on two things to get through a shift: seasonal spirit and caffeine.
The general enjoyment of a busy, fast-paced season keeps me going for a while because, despite my burnout, I love the industry. I find I’m able to tap into seasonal archetypes more easily, giving the people what they want. Dropping off your kid at college for the first time? I’ll give you the most reassuring vibes you’ve ever felt. Halloween? You’ll feel the slightest, most perfect haunt. The mood has been captured, curated, distilled, and reflected back at you as a natural, perfect (very tasty) memory.
I genuinely enjoy it, too. I’m both blessed and cursed with a resiliently sunny personality that is difficult to flag— until my blood sugar gets low. Once I’ve crashed, it’s all over. The shift ends and so does my day and my good mood.
I realized after several years of the brutal crashing cycle that I could mitigate the angry, hungry, short-tempered version of myself by eating giant meals with lots of protein and drinking a glass of water with every Red Bull or coffee I consumed. It took me a literal decade to figure it out, but I can now essentially run for hours like an efficient service machine. One that doesn’t want to cry or rage at the drop of a hat.
I am not your mother, so don’t feel as though I am lecturing you, but for the love of God — take care of yourself this season, please.
We don’t make enough money in this industry to take care of ourselves the way we ought to. I’ve yet to work in a restaurant with an affordable insurance plan if any at all, and yet we spend our 12-hour days on our feet. Long hours are spent in the service of others. Dinner is eaten over a trash can or in an alleyway. Burns and scars riddle our forearms, backs ache, and without a good pair of Danskos, you’re screwed, my friend.
I didn’t realize that I had some scary hormone problems (deeply exacerbated by my time in the kitchen) until two years had passed at a nice restaurant where I had been laboring as a line cook. I realized the circles under my eyes and the desire to eat nothing until 11:30 pm were turning me into a walking ghost — one that was short-tempered and perpetually bothered. I wrote in my notebook one day, ‘Thank goodness for that cold deli of Sprite during the rush or I’d be dead right now!’ and then realized rather soberingly it wasn’t really a joke.
So, as I gear myself up for this season, I’ve resolved to beat the system this year. The answer is simple and also hard. Red Bull is not the answer. Coffee isn’t either. Water is better. Electrolytes are the best.
(This is my version of Michael Pollan’s “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants” mantra.)
Red Bull is not the answer.
I’m not saying don’t ever drink them, I’m saying save them for crucial booster moments, like work holiday parties or nights you really need the extra push.
These shiny, cold silver bullets of sweet relief are but bandaids, temporary fixes for deeper burnout, exhaustion, and fatigue.
I avoided energy drinks for a while on principle, until one day I experienced that perfect, razor-sharp clarity. It had me soaring above the heads of my brigade, a precise and efficient machine of culinary prowess. I was hooked!
My sleep tanked, but my work was excellent. My body was falling apart, but I felt invincible. Now, I keep them in secret reserve, behind “break in case of emergency” glass.
Coffee isn’t either.
Downing an espresso before service or relying on an emotional support coffee during prep is also a slyly, seemingly innocent go-to. Coffee is basically a non-negotiable essential for coping with fast-paced, exhausting work, a short-term crutch that helps us hobble over the deeper challenges of a high-stress culture.
They are favors we curry with friends (“Who wants something from the 7-Eleven?”) and emotional support during an overwhelming prep list. They are also deeply addictive, cementing us further in a rut of dependence and dehydration. They are delicious little lies.
In the famous words of Saint Anthony:
"I was a poster child for the concept of 'kitchen rat.' If you’re wondering why I looked so rough around the edges, it’s because I was living the life of a man who spent every waking moment in a chaotic, high-stress environment, where the demands were as unrelenting as they were extreme.
I ate constantly, shoveling food into my face between shifts. It was a roiling hell broth of suppressed frustration, nervous energy, caffeine, and alcohol, with a stomach constantly in turmoil, churning from the stress and overload of my eating habits.
My body had become a battleground of adrenaline and exhaustion, with the constant pressure and lack of sleep making me both physically and mentally drained. The relentless cycle of high stress and bad eating habits took its toll, leaving me in a state of perpetual turmoil and discomfort.”
Poetry.
Water is better.
Water, however, is the great off-setter, the giver of life. Drink one full deli for every non-water beverage you crush, be it caffeine, alcohol, or sugar.
Speaking of, when was the last time you drank some? (Better just do it now.)
I learned that this is the actual best way to soar above the rush because its clarity is actually…real. There is no crash. Brain fog melts away when you get enough water (it’s true!) and when you take an inevitable trip to the bathroom to pee (which you should, it’s very healthy or else you’re severely dehydrated) you get a second opportunity to splash water on your face, wash your hands in cold water, take a deep breath, and collect yourself.
And also, you’ll be able to sleep at night, unperturbed by caffeine’s terrible half-life.
Electrolytes are best.
Treat yourself like an athlete, a finely-tuned machine, an arrow of pure focus. Do athletes spend their free time lurking in alleyways sucking down cigarettes? Do they recover with more caffeine and a hastily eaten bowl of family meal leftovers?
No! They are machines dialed to do a wonderful job, and they refill lost nutrients and minerals quickly and efficiently so they can return to the field and kill it.
That is you. Athlete. Machine.
Drink a Gatorade. Pack a Nuun in your knife kit. Don’t give in to the easy relief of an energy drink. Fight for your best brain, sharpest body, quickest muscles, and strongest form. Get real sleep at night.
Or don’t, I’m not your mother, but let’s at least start there and see what else we can shake up for the sake of a healthier industry.
Isn’t it time we live better lives on and off the line?
Godspeed, enjoy your day off if you have it.
You mentioned athletes in this one, how does your time as an athlete interact with how you move, operate, and see yourself as a certified Restaurant Person?